Time to write again, because I really am determined to keep up on this and all my other writings. I have this blog plus I have:
Maybe It's The Bloodwine Talking - Neurospicy 'R' Us - A Little Kink Is Good For The Soul.
On top of that I am working on:
and all my facebook pages:
#BertsLight - ByronMakesThings - BloodwineTalking - ALittleKinkIsGood - Neurospicy 'R' Us - BrazierChildren - Oh No, The Liberals Are Coming.
As I am writing this all out, I am realizing that I am quite spread out wide. I have ALL kinds of ambition, millions and millions of ideas for things to write, and draw, and build, and film, and create, and grow, and record, and on and on.
Now I'm sure in the title you noticed that I included the word sadly. Let me explain why that word is in there, and why having so many ideas can be incredibly depressing. When you live your life with your brain always coming up with new ideas, it becomes incredibly overwhelming to know that you wont be able to accomplish most if not all of them. There is never enough time, nor enough money, nor enough energy to accomplish all of them, yet I can't turn my brain off to stop coming up with them. I have sooo many pages in OneNote of ideas, some of which seem super simple to do, and some require millions of dollars and all of my time. Yet the thoughts never stop, so I just keep writing them down. Just feels like the more that OneDrive fills up with ideas, the more I wish I did have so many.
Looking at all these ideas and knowing I don't have the money, or the skills, or the time, or the resources, or whatever else I need to do them, makes me really hate this world we live in. Nothing happens without money, and people don't want to invest without seeing a working product, but you can't have a working product without the money to buy the supplies in the first place. Then there are things like Patreon and Kickstarter and StartGarden and so on, places and websites that help you to build an audiance and get monetary support for the thing you want to make. They are amazing tools to use, but I have so little self confidence in my ideas anymore that I am instantly overwhelmed by all of it when I even attempt to start filing out the paperwork and such.
I grew up wanting to be an inventer. Edison and Tesla were my heros as a kid, creating both practical and fantastical inventions to make the world a better place. Course when I grew up I found out that Edison just slapped his name on a bunch of the inventions he is said to have invented, as they were invented by his employees, but still. I want to have my name synonymous with change and making the world a better place. Wether it's through art, or audio, or inventions, or charities, or whatever. I want to be able to show the world that I can make a difference, and that I am not just full of ideas with nothing behind them. I want to make the world a better place for me having been in it, and if one of my ideas happens to bring in a lot of money, then I can take care of my family, and have the funding to make even more of my ideas come true.
I just want to finally have one of my many ideas take off and go somewhere. I want to have them mean something to more than just me. I want to be able to grow old and say that not only did I make a difference, but I can actually show you the difference I made. I want to see the difference being made within my own life time. It's not for the fame or the glory, but to show that a difference can be made, and to show that the neurodivergent of this world are worth way more than just being a puzzle piece you fit into your life.
